Patience or Rest?

I know. It's late; too late perhaps to begin this, but I don't think it will take long. As it happens, God has once again shown me that I do not have this patience thing figured out. I don't even get close. And I believe it is wrong to think of the Biblical character of Job as patient. The only place patience had was his long-suffering manner with his so-called friends. He might even be said to be patient waiting for God, but I am not so sure he was really waiting for God.

Our human race has never been prolific at showing patience. We forsook the good God had for us because the enticement of something better that we didn't have to wait for was more than we could handle. What is it that made our first parents nuts when faced with the question? Allow me to take little detour here: yes, the woman might've been deceived by the serpent, but who left her alone? Who had provided her spiritual guidance? Encouraged her walk with God? What was Adam doing instead of what he should've been doing? God's Word is silent on these and other particulars, so we can be confident that we know exactly what he wants us to know: that we determined to be disobedient from thence forward. But I was talking about patience.

A week or so ago, when I was so discouraged about not being allowed to take treatment, I came face-to-face with my sinful nature on so many levels. That same nature was in form on Monday this week as I began to feel the effects of the treatment last week. Apparently, I could not abide feeling whipped with the fatigue, a little upset stomach and a small amount of pain, just like it was two weeks before. There was this little "person," except he wasn't on my shoulder. He was square in the middle of the throne of my heart.

Why he was there baffled me, especially since I thought I had evicted my idols a while ago. Yet there he was. He was pushing me towards the thought that gave rise to the discouragement I have become familiar with. Sadly, I sensed it, and went headlong into discouragement anyway. Knowing full well that as soon as I crossed the threshold he had set for me, I would be abandoned to continue down the spiral, if I allowed it. Thank God that in recognizing the scheme, I was given faith to acknowledge God, to call on him, to remember his promises.

Patience? Not me. But I do grasp at rest, which I believe is the closest we can get to patience. Rest comes with peace, the peace that can't explain calm in the midst of the storm. Rest does not expect answers or resolution, but takes refuge in the arms of him who is active to reconcile all things to himself. In the midst of my discouragement, Jesus lifted me up renewing the hope I have in him, and gave me a measure of strength to walk through this valley, no matter how oppressive. My savior, my rest - here, and for eternity.