WOW! That is all I can say, one day after our appointment with Georgetown and Dr Pishvaian. We've been to Georgetown nearly a handful of times since our first meeting in February, that day which initially found me increasingly apprehensive. I believe I also mentioned that our next visit left me with a greater sense of dread, primarily over what I perceived as second-guessing and hard questioning. In retrospect, I feel much differently about all our appointments. As in the case with Dr Felice, we have been more than pleased with the level of care we've received each step along the way.
We have known and expected that this journey, just as life daily, is a marathon, not a sprint. Ultimately, we are to ""Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!," Psalms 46:10. God is always at work, bringing about his redemptive plan of salvation, restoration and reconciliation. His intervention on our behalf is according to his time table, not the immediacy of our desires. And we are so spoiled, wanting even what may be truly good (to us), and we want it yesterday. We must experience God as who he has revealed himself to be in Scripture - unchangeable, unshakable, the most wise.
So, back to the WOW! We sat and listened to what any reasonable person would take as bad news in terms of trials available to me that are limited almost to nothing, simply because of this elevated liver enzyme. We did take it as bad news, yet we have built no expectations for this visit, save to ask a few questions, and see if there is plan moving forward. Without any idea of further possibilities, God showed what he had been doing since our failed attempt for the earlier trial.
There is a trial, set to begin in about three weeks (remember I have to have three weeks of no treatment once the radiation was completed (September 8) before a trial could commence. This particular trial focuses on the promising nature of a drug used for most other cancers - just not mine. But it shows promises of working against colorectal cancer, and the elevated liver enzyme is NOT lthe worry it would be with other care. Did I mention that it is available when I would be ready to begin? Did I tell you that I am the only trial candidate on their roster that meets the criteria for this trial? Did you know they had already scheduled me against this trial on August 23?
Too many factors simply to let this go as coincidence (which we don't believe, anyway) or chance (how absurd). If I were to describe the full range of disappointment over the disqualification of the earlier trial, especially over something for which I had no control or answer, the relief of getting the radiation, all the while thinking the interim would bring answers to the liver enzyme and I would be able to get into the same trial, or at least another, since there were a couple of possibilities, would it help you see?
If then I told you how this new opportunity presented itself, that I was the perfect and only candidate, that the trial, while holding no guarantee of direct benefit to me but may provide answers for someone else, and that I had already been scheduled for it by the Georgetown team, would you think it a cool story? Folks, it is more than that. From the moment our appointment was over, I have been riding a high nearing euphoria that I don't think I have experienced at such intensity over the last fifteen months. I still am. And it seems there is no end of it.
Seeing God's handiwork, large and small this past week, has given me renewal that has impacted me on all levels of my being. I believe that, even with no guarantee for me, God worked this just for me to grow in my faith, trust in him completely, and to learn to wait on him. I have learned again to turn my eyes upon Jesus, and away from myself. And I have been taught further, that he knows best for me and those I love and will be sufficient in all his dealings with us. Good news for all.
So there it is. If you'd like to know more, please drop me a message: davenpoj@gmail.com. I am delighted to be allowed this and so many other opportunities to show forth our great God.
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