One of Those Moments

Just over thirty minutes until the NCAA men's basketball championship game. My bracket disintegrated long ago - I apparently picked the wrong upsets. In the mean time, I am trying to rest up from beginning the third episode of treatment today and reliving my youth in the 1970's through the music. This period of my life was mostly filled with oldies and the soft pop of the day. My exposure to the more unconventional sounds was supplied by listening to my cousin Tony's records on visits to my aunt and uncle's house. Later in the decade I would expand what I listened to, but with a focus more on the music and/or vocal arrangements or stylings than the lyrics. Getting re-acquainted with some of these I am amazed at how well they were produced.

Today my bride made sure that my nurse recorded all the things I had been experiencing over the last few weeks. Not the I was seeking to hide anything, just that I had a lesser view of the importance or significance of a few things. But Cynth was right, as usual. Nothing proved to be out of the realm of the expected, the blood counts were good, great actually, and my port gave up the red right off the bat. So a good first day, and one that did include some humor.

I had asked Cynth this morning to check the container I had packed my meds into to make sure I had one of the prescribed meds we had refilled on Friday. When I got to work, ate breakfast and got the meds out to take them, one of the pills looked unfamiliar. I delayed taking it until I got home and asked Cynth about it. She confirmed that she had checked for the refilled med, and not seeing one like the one in the bottle I had handed her, she added one from that bottle. I took it.

Now, there is no need to be alarmed. This is what happens when two people try to check behind each other at 6AM without putting on their glasses. What I had asked Cynth to check for was indeed already in that group I had already collected. But the bottle I had handed her to check from was a different med altogether. So she put one of those pills into my group. And this is why, once again, I was drowsy during and after treatment today.

We were anticipating a scan after this cycle, but it looks now as though it will be after the next (fourth) cycle, but we do have a follow-up appointment with Dr Felice scheduled. One thing you might include with your prayers for us is an answer to whether we plan to skip the treatment that would begin the day after Caleb graduates Christopher Newport University. We are leaning that direction, but would like to be more sure about it.

Now it is game time. Really, it is so for more than just the championship game. We wait to see how this next round affects me. Today, before treatment started, I had one of those moments when the emotion of this disease, the changes it has imposed on Cynth and the rest of the family, and on me and our life generally. I acknowledged through the tears the unfairness and how I hate this. In the end, though, this is not about me or this disease, but about the God who is bringing about the reconciliation of all things for his glory, and is intimately involved, even in this disease. He grieves, as we do, that these things are part of our life in his creation, because this was not his design. But praise him for his love, mercy, grace and work for our good and his glory.