Still . . . Good days are multiplied (with all apologies to Emerson, Lake and Palmer). A day without the butterflies and abdomen pain, but more finger and hand tingling with exposure to cold. A fairly windy day, although early this morning was not too bad. I didn't have the problem with the meds that I had yesterday, so I didn't have the drowsiness of yesterday, but that didn't stop the mild fatigue wearing on me later in the day. So, how many times can I use "didn't" in a sentence?
Oh yes! Please go back and read yesterday's post, since I've now corrected my mistakes. I knew what I was trying to say, but my iPhone is either not as smart as it thinks it is, or it is smarter than I am. Really, might it not be appropriate that yesterday's foul up with my "meds" be construed as a real "mess?" But those were not the only mistakes, and they are now all corrected, thanks to my "editor." Cynth usually stays up with my posts and catches my typos, the English minor that she is, but occasionally a post or two gets by her, since I am on such a posting schedule these days.
This whole posting thing was a little frightening at first, not knowing exactly how writing would go nor what I would draw from. I also didn't have the desire to be too open about things beyond the disease. Somewhere along the way, I drew from my life and faith to discuss what was going on with the whole person. And I discovered I had to be more than circumspect to truly paint the picture of living my faith in the face of life. I found I was having fun with this, in the sense that I was enjoying remembering many of the moments of my past, tying in my passions and ultimately demonstrating that God is good, and is faithful always.
I have been asked about answers to prayer - there are so many. I have been asked where has the church be a blessing to us. Again, we have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of God's Spirit through our church family. I have been asked where and how have I seen God working. It is easier to say where I have not seen God at work, because the evidence of his hand in all of the treatments, the decisions, the blood counts, the medical appointments, the family strife, daily stress, continuing work, side effects, and even the darkest moments of the valley when I called out like the Psalmist in Psalm 22.
I joined Facebook a great while ago, only because my church choir had signed on with Facebook, and I wanted to see the link. Since then I have been contacted by many, many friends from long ago, some as far back as elementary school. What a joy to see so many who bring to mind good memories of the days long gone. I did not have a desire to announce my condition on that site, rather seeking to give out this blog site only to a few that I thought might be encouraged by what this broken vessel could share. Slowly, but as I had hoped, word of my cancer got around and so I am contacted by more and more of my long ago friends. I am happy for that.
It is a great illustration of Hebrews 12:1, where the writer, after the "By faith" section in chapter eleven, encourages us to lay aside the things that weigh us down, and look to Jesus as the author and perfecter of our faith while we continue in this race of life amidst this great cloud of witnesses. Cynth and I count it all joy to be where we are, for we know that belonging to God he promises good to us. It will undoubtedly come to pass. And it may not be as we would hope or pray for, but he is God and he will not be moved. What he will do is change the heart, even though it is a long, slow process and we are so stubborn.
What else can I give to him, who loved me enough even when my heart despised him, but a broken contrite heart? What else could I do, but to give my life in humble obedience, following my Savior who in his obedience to the Father gave himself up on the cross for my sin? Where else can I have hope, but in the resurrection to new life, life abundant, and life everlasting in God's presence?
What do we have to be thankful for? A relationship with God, my creator, my heavenly father, only source of life, grace, salvation, mercy, strength, peace, comfort and provision. Even in the valleys, God is there taking me by the hand, leading on out of the valley, allowing me the time to experience his faithfulness in the darkness. This might seem cruel to our sense of immediate comfort, but we really only find true rest in God, so this time with him in the valley is necessary to rest in him so we are prepared to carry out his calling on our lives.
We enjoyed a most wonderful Schaefer Greek Stew and Caesar salad for dinner followed by a cool Key Lime cake for dessert tonight.
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