It seems odd, but Rach's last dance recital (in June) was the weekend before our June 8 MRI that led to the immediate follow-up appointment with our family doc that started us down this path. In many ways, time tricks us to seeing such a time span as very short, while at other times it seems to be so far away. I may have mentioned it before, but my responsibilities at work involving the scheduling of support for various requirements, all date driven. And I've noticed more than once that time seems to pass more quickly with these duties, for I am always working toward a future date that is not really so far away. Oh well.
This week, I've had the opportunity to pass along my diagnosis to a few friends that are related through work. One or two already new through second hand information; but one did not. I took great comfort in the companionship over the phone, sharing as I did with these friends who also have experienced or are experiencing medical issues of their own. One, Tom will be undergoing surgery for prostate cancer in the near future. Please add Tom, Danny and Jeff to the list of others I have put before you on other occasions.
There are a few songs in my past that have to do with the title of this post: Make Me Smile (Chicago), Sara Smile (Hall & Oates) to name a couple. And for all the benefits of a jovial spirit, smiling takes a great deal of work, it seems, although it has been said that it takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown (there is some debate about this). Regardless, it is hardly debatable that a smile is much better to wear than a frown. And the facial expression affects more than the muscles in your face.
It is a light on the soul, indicating where your spirit is - whether joyous, even in the storm, or dejected. There once were brothers who give a great illustration of this. Abel (apparently known only from the comparative statement regarding Cain) was a joyous person, while Cain was "angry" and his face was "fallen." God admonished him that "if he did well, he would be accepted," but that if he did not do well," that "sin was crouching at the door," that "desire is for" him, but "he must rule over it." The rest of the story describes how Cain gave into sin, killed his brother, and was banished from his family and God's presence.
We, too, can be accepted, but on the merits of Christ alone. Yes, faith in Christ and making him lord and master of our soul will lead to a changed, new life that must bear fruit (doing well), but that is for the glory of God, the benefit to others in living out God, and for our sanctification. We are to have joy, even in the dire circumstances that this broken world brings. We do grieve over sin, over the consequences of the fall that brings sickness, pain and death. We mourn separation from loved ones, whether by estrangement or death. But we know that these and others that sadden our hearts are but temporary, and for increasing glory in eternity. The joy we are to have in circumstances like these comes from knowing that God is God, and his ways are right, including our way through these difficult trials.
His promise is to be our God, and us to be his people; to never leave us nor forsake us; and to come again to take us home. He is completely trust worthy for he is always true, faithful and at work for his people to bring about his perfect will. And I have proof. It exists in the answers to the prayers of all of you and many others who lift us up daily. It comes in the giving of much strength when I did not believe I could go another step. It is manifested in the quiet calming of my natural tendency to doubt, fear and despair over these circumstances that have so disrupted life.
Then I know that God had purposed this for my good and I keep seeking to know that which he wants me to learn for me. It may be that this is how God is increasing my faith. It may be that there is more that he wants me to learn of him. Whatever it maybe, I am giving myself completely to what he has in store, for to hold back simply invites trouble. Trouble in the circumstances, and trouble in the spirit. There were times as a child that I remember feeling saddened over some trouble in my life, even thinking that I was depressed. But he has made me glad. David writes in Psalm 16:
Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you.”
As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight.
The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.
The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
This psalm contains a prophecy of the resurrection of the Messiah, in which the psalmist finds security and a cause for rejoicing. So we, too, should find, even in the darkest moments, that hope is steadfast, that these present struggles are nothing to compare with the riches we have in Christ Jesus, our lord, here in this present life, and in the life to come.
Chicken pot pie, mashed potatoes, fumi salad, chocolate cake with strawberries made for a most delicious meal from Chez Arnold.
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