First, I apologize for my absence. I firmly believe I have this forum precisely to share, and when I neglect it, not only do I miss it, but I feel as though I am letting God down. I know this is not true, but the thought is there just the same. Something about being accused by the accuser (Zechariah 3:1-5).
Fatigue has mounted against me these last two to three days, and although I have been to work both Monday and Tuesday, I have been absolutely done by the time I got home. Aside from the fatigue, I am having a little problem with my mouth hurting. We knew that the chemo would possibly mess with the lining of the mouth, nose, etc., and I have had some mild discomfort before, but nothing of the sort I am experiencing now. Goodness and mercy do follow me, for I feel blessed even in the difficulties I experience in the moment.
Yesterday I heard some news that had the potential to be distressing. You likely already know this, but apparently Jupiter was to be as close to the Earth last night as it will be for something like another 10,000 years (so I heard). One co-worker said he could even make out some of Jupiter's moons, as it was the brightest object in the sky, even with the moon last night. Imagine that - an opportunity to see something so rare and to have missed it completely. But I am in luck. It seems that it will be visible again tonight. So if able, I plan to go outside an see if I can see it. If you haven't and you have clear skies, I encourage you to do the same. Think of the rocks crying out . . .
Which brings me to tonight's main course. Do you understand how difficult it is to let go? (Notice I didn't mention what you should let go of?) Without going back over old territory, let me begin with the idols that fill my heart - pride, fear (of being wrong, of being found inadequate, of being found out), selfishness, covetousness, power, equality (how about that one?), and many, many others. These idols drive us to forget reason. We deny the truth when right before us, satisfying ourselves that we know best. Someone comes along, or we hear something, something that might even resemble the truth, but yet be ever so far from it.
For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 1 Timothy 4:3-4) Even now, some are still led away, thinking they have found a better way by adding to the free gift of grace that Christ taught rules and restrictions seemingly for edification. (There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. Proverbs 14:12) What does it require for us to finally acknowledge, learn, practice that answer to our condition can't be found in the things we do - the rituals, the routine, the rote prayers, the offering (of time, self, money) when apart from a heart of deep gratitude for that which God has done in loving us.
I do find immense value in all the things of worship - even when the outside perception might be of routine, rote, or ritual. Why? It has everything to do with the heart - where is the heart of the worshipper? Anyone can go through the motions, but only a heart given to God alone, where he is enthroned, can truly experience God in worshipping him in Spirit and truth. And that person knows that the elements of worship, like the sacrifices and festivals of old, are sign posts pointing us to the One whom left his glory above and humbled himself to become a man, so that he - fully man and fully God in one flesh, would become the only acceptable sacrifice for the debt of sin I (and you) owe.
Before I close, I want to add another prayer request. For those who believe they are walking in the light, yet are following blindly the words of men which are leading astray, I ask you to join me in prayer that they would be delivered from the clutches of the half-truths, even lies that seem to them to be right. Ask God to move mightily to show them their folly and give them softened hearts to return to the God and their families that love them.
Seeking something to spice up your worship, make it authentic, make you feel "real," "acceptable?" Look to your heart. Be honest and answer what it tells about you. Answer truthfully, for then you will be confronted by the Holy One, where your only response is in your repentance and his forgiveness that he only gives.
As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man. Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied, and never satisfied are the eyes of man. The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and a man is tested by his praise. Proverbs 27:19-21.
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