It is amazing! Awesome! And totally wonderful! By this time after my sixth treatment that ended September 18, I was still feeling really horribly fatigued. Although I could work, about half-way through the day (give or take an hour or so) I would hit this brick wall and could not keep from nodding off. This lasted for eight days beyond the treatment. So when we went for the last treatment, I told the nurse all that I had been experiencing.
Let me add here that, contrary to what might be said about my circumspection regarding what I share with a doctor, I have been talking like a parrot, telling every thing I notice, even some things I know have nothing whatsoever to do with my cancer or the treatments.
Anyway, after I mentioned the fatigue, the nurse affirmed that this was the result of the chemo, and she confirmed my belief that it would likely get worse as the treatments continue. So . . . now after the last six days from chemo pump disconnect have passed, and having experienced fatigue on the same order as after the treatment cycle nearly four weeks ago, imagine my great surprise to have suddenly felt a slight burst of energy and strength. I still have a little fatigue, but I don't feel slow, sluggish, nor do I go about expecting to just slump over in slumber at any moment. Somebody is praying, many of you are praying specifically for my strength . . . and I know it because God is providing my daily strength.
For a brief moment earlier this evening, as I listened to a particular talk show host, my concern over one of my great passions began to rise. I'd like to think that I would do as I have said before, and vote for the most qualified candidate, but I think that requires someone who is a good judge of character, and I only need to look at how much I often love only me to recognize that my ability to discern good character is flawed.
Anyway, now my focus is on the person or persons who will be true to the US Constitution, if there be anyone that will. And there are many who present themselves as those who would do this or that as a demonstration of their allegiance to the Constitution. One thing they lack, and I'll just put this out there: I am mulling over that some who have been appointed Federal judges should be removed and replaced with those who adhere to strict Constitutional constructionism. Of course, we are in the predicament we are in precisely because we have forgotten the One who is the basis of all law and freedom. And just as Israel and Judah were made to pass through the fire, so we shall, unless God intervenes to right all that is wrong.
Another great passion . . . Clemson Tiger football. Actually, I like most of their sports programs, but football always will be very special to me. To get a little more understanding about this, you'll have to go back several posts ago. I will only say that each time I watch a game on TV, and especially when at Clemson Memorial Stadium, I have a rush of memories all the way back to when I was a toddler and living there over forty years ago. The Tigers are 2-2 so far this season . . . which does not look all that good, but against the two ranked teams (that they've lost to), I think the played well.
Another passion? My wife. Cynth will quickly tell you that she is tired. But she keeps going. She gets up with me in the morning to see me off to work. She gets Rach up and ready for school, drives her to dance, prepares supper, helps Rach study, write papers, checks her math (did I mention we are homeschooling Rach for the fifth year this year?). And she reserves time for me. She also drives me everywhere . . . I kinda like that, but I am trying not to take advantage of it. They'd probably tell you they like it better when she drives, anyway.
Cynth has started back with MOPS, and is enjoying the interaction and the opportunity to share with young moms. And she is blessed by the discussions they have about parenting, not just little ones, but parenting overall. This year, she is a mentor mom each week instead of helping with the children every other week. And this year, God ordered that an oncology nurse would be a member of one of her groups, completely unbeknown to the MOPS leadership who assign the mentor moms.
Additionally, Cynth is now about four chapters into the newest Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) on Isaiah. And I am deriving some excitement about the study from her as she attends each class. How timely is it to spend time studying any part of God's word, and specifically this book - calling Judah to repent, proclaiming the coming of the Messiah, and describing the judgment to come for those who practice wickedness and lawlessness. Cynth is one of my great passions because of her love for God and her desire for him.
This brings me to the last passion I'll mention here. You could probably guess. But it cannot be left unsaid that God is my chief passion. He knows me, yet loves me - without regard for my rebellious ways. In fact, he loves me in spite of my rebellious ways. And because he loves me, I love him. For while I was dead in my sin, unable to know God, incapable of any good, deserving death as a creature of wrath, an enemy of God, he pursued me as a lover pursues his beloved. He sent his Son to die in my place, a death that satisfied his justice, and extended his mercy by grace so that I could believe on him and have salvation. He raised Jesus from the dead that I might have eternal life. He is, even now destroying my heart of stone and giving me a heart of flesh, a heart that each days seeks to turn away from me and turn to him so that I may glorify him in whom is my only hope. My only hope. My only hope.
As you think of it, please pray for a request of mine. I will only say that there is another struggle, one that affects those we love. We (I, more than anything) would like to fix it so that the struggle ends. But I know that God is in the struggle, as he is for all of us for it is there, and only there, that we can truly be humbled to the point of belief and submitting to him. I am asking that your prayers be specific that the struggle produce the fruit of repentance, submission and perseverance, for our loved ones and for us.
I will pray likewise, adding that your days may be filled with living passionately for our King.
As we have done daily before, we continue to lift you, Cynthia and the children, one by one, up to God for daily cleansing, re-strengthening,
ReplyDeletemiraculous healing, guidance in doing His will and His wisdom with which to do it. We add to that your concern for the ones you have concerns about that their spiritual healing will also take place.
Your writings continue to be a blessing to your Mom and all who them. Robert says while he shakes his head, that you write wiser than your years. He is constantly amazed at your remembering details, songs, movies, "things," as you include these. So am I. I know that you bless others who read, but if you did not, you have touches two lives at least and I know there are more.
Thank you for your timely words of encouragement even in the light of your need encouragement.
I love you.
MOM