Normal?

On this, the fifth day of the current treatment cycle, I had enough energy to take a load of brush to our local landfill. The brush had been cut already from the trees that had been damaged during the last ice and snow event this Winter. I just needed to load it first, then drive over to unload it. No sweat, except I did sweat. It felt great.it was nice to be able to do something like that after so much of the past nine months when I didn't feel much like doing.

I have to keep reminding myself that I have this illness. Days like today almost could convince me that I am fine, that there's nothing wrong with me, that I am normal. I think the passing months have helped foster that thought. I think we were straining to see the future with cancer through a magnifying glass, anticipating what could be and that very soon. On this end of the past three-quarters of a year, though, I am not even looking through my prescription lenses to see what's coming at us.

I think we all look through a magnifying glass, trying hard to see whatever might be headed for us. Consider the roads you drive. Think of a stretch where you can see very far ahead. Can you see the pothole that you are sure to hit? Do you see the shade of trees covering the road? How about the forest creature that is about to dart across the road? If you can, do you see you preparing to meet those details accordingly? Nor do we with life. I am not saying we should.

First, I should say that I am normal. We simply skew what normal is for our wishes and/or purposes. And our normal tendency is to make it so things go smooth. We so lie to be in control. It affects everything about us. I say I am normal because what I am living with in this disease is a fact of life in this world. It is more normal than not having an illness. Yet it takes us completely by surprise, and throws our world into a spin.

Secondly, I am normal because I first look inward regarding this thing. Yet I know that Christ suffered far more than I will. He suffered the rejection of his own people, the betrayal of close friends, the humiliation of others just to placate his accusers. Finally, he endured the wrath and abandonment from the Father, not for any wrong he had done, but for the crimes of others . . . the rejection of the truth, the seeking our own fulfillment apart from God, and our constant, defiant turning from him.

What to do? It's okay to live in expectation of the future, even to try to see what might come, and to plan such that we are fulfilling our call to be responsible stewards of that which is entrusted to us. We need to remember that God is sovereign. His work of redemption, reconciliation, and restoration employs people and tactics we could never imagine, because we don't see as he sees and we don't understand. We can't possibly begin to fathom how something that we view as bad for us can really be our good, but that is the kind of thinking we should cultivate, with the Spirit's help. This is why this journey is a good thing. So be encouraged in the face of what seems out of the normal, and try to see the supernatural of God at work in the normal.

The blessings of the Irish were visited upon us with Quinn's Shepherd's Pie, green jello and pear salad, and Irish Soda Bread followed by cake.