I called my oncologist on Tuesday about the back pain and all that had transpired over the weekend, and Wednesday they called me to set up an MRI of my lower back and an abdomen x-ray for the pain on my right side, just underneath my rib cage. My appointment if for Thursday, June 2, and hopefully they can determine something soon. Other than the pain, and a little nausea (that likely was due more to my Sunday lunch than the chemo), this treatment cycle is going well. The real test will be in five or six weeks, after this has had time to accumulate. Still, stable is a goal and (for the present) stable we are.
Going back over the last few weeks and months, it occurred to me that our natural inclination to our desires, on our time schedule, and in the manner we want it is so, so deep. "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9. We feel inconvenienced when our world doesn't go according to our plan, but worst yet, we don't even stop to try to see God in the mix. We just keep going. What will it take to shake us out of the "walking blank stare" life of going and doing where what matters most is us and our feelings? When do we finally "get it" that we ought to be living as Jesus taught?
I've been reading "Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy" by Eric Metaxas. Bonhoeffer believed the true church would live out the Sermon on the Mount teachings. What Dietrich Bonhoeffer gets is that faith is not a noun. It is action, in which we are (to be) joyful participants in the work God has called for us to do. It means that we are to be in the trenches for our brother or sister, our "neighbor," not waiting at the command post for that choice assignment. We all have a critical role in God's kingdom. It's past time to get moving.
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