Change?

Monday, July 26. Today spent most of the day wondering whether the ache I felt in my thighs might be related to the L1 Vertebra. Dr. Altemus did say to watch for that as a sign that we would go ahead with radiation. But neither Cynth nor I slept well Sunday night, and I remember my legs being restless a little more than usual. Otherwise during the day Monday I could move without problem. Still no sign of any of the more dreadful side effects. I do experience a little mouth numbness, and I was a little tired Monday afternoon. Still, I have much to be so thankful for, which brings me to my subject: Change?


First, my premise is that I am far more corrupt than I can ever understand. I used this a few days ago, and Monday I got a taste of it. I didn't grasp (or acknowledge?) that anything was bothering me, but all it took was a comment shot back at me that led to an eruption. Of course what follows is more of the same old thing: trying to justify why, trying to present myself as right, trying to get in the dig without looking like I am looking to dig. In the meantime, I gave opportunity for escalation beyond the circumstances worth. I didn't even try to give Jesus a chance. I simply rushed in headstrong, and hurt others as well as myself.

When Jesus takes over, our lives change. Paul tells us we are no longer slaves to sin, meaning that I am not committed to continuing the wrong to make myself right. We are a new creation - instantaneously, because now Christ reigns within and we have a relationship with Him where before there was enmity. But there is a process that will last until Glory, that of being yoked together with Christ, as we heard on Sunday. Through that process, the Spirit continually works to lead, guide, instruct, and correct. But we must do something first. This something takes two steps: laying down my burden (of working to be acceptable), and taking up Christ's yoke. Only by this can we who are fallen yet forgiven ever grow as God has designed. It is a constant giving over to Christ, a complete emptying of myself so that I diminish as He increases. Sound simple? Clearly, it is not. There is no magic potion, pill, or incantation. There is only the doing.

Sometimes little nuggets of truth can be found in the oddest of places. Many years ago, with the release of STAR WARS: The Empire Strikes Back, the character of Yoda, the Jedi Master Luke Skywalker visits for training was memorable because of his size and his manner of speaking. At one point, Luke tells Yoda he will "try" to do that which Yoda instructs. Yoda answers, "Try? Do, or do not! There is no try." I fell to my own sin yesterday because I didn't do. Interestingly, I even gave the response that "I tried to keep it from escalating." Ironic?

Secondly, and to continue the thought above: I am loved far more than I could ever imagine. God takes me - just as I am. Which is a good thing, because I have nothing at all to offer Him. He has done everything for me to be free from my sin, to be free to turn to Him, to be free to love unconditionally (meaning no expectations), and to be free to follow Him. I think this is one possible meaning of "bearing one another." We all are fallen, and to the extent we have faith, trust in God, and follow Jesus, we are going to respond to each other somewhere along the grand spectrum of right or wrong. If we truly love as God loves, then our need is abdicated in favor of the One who supplies all our needs. Another way to say it, our drive for righteousness is torn down by the One who became righteousness for us and who gives us His righteousness by His free gift of grace.

Here's to change to what God wills through Christ the redeemer by His Spirit.