Signs

No.  This will not use anything from the M. Night Shyamalan movie from 2002, although I probably could.  Instead, I'll talk briefly about signs as they relate to my experience with cancer thus far, and see where I go from there.

If you've been following this long, you may remember that I had no indications whatsoever that cancer was working on my body.  As I try, very hard, to remember when I began to notice anything, anything at all, all I can remember are little things that I thought were anything other than the diagnosis we received just over five weeks ago now.   I cannot remember when the pain in my right side began.  That pain eventually took us to the ER at Inova Fair Oaks, and thence through the many doctor's visits and tests that followed.

Now, as you will recall from more recent posts, I find myself examining intently anything in the slightest out of the abnormal because it may be linked either to the disease or to the treatment.  The fatigue, for example, I know may set in as a result of anemia from decreased red blood cell count.  I have felt a little tired late in the day on a few occasions lately, but nothing at all like I had been feeling prior to the week after my first treatment.  And you'll remember my post of Tuesday last when I described the pain in my thighs that I was hoping wasn't linked to the disease on the L1 vertebra.

All of these "signs" do have meaning, indicating something.  Maybe they point to that which we've been told to watch for, or maybe they have a different source and purpose.  This is not unlike signs of another sort.  The Apostle John wrote of signs in his gospel, those things Jesus did during His earthly ministry.  And John's narrative conveyed a purpose behind the sign - pointing to the Christ and the work He was sent to accomplish.  From the very first sign, Jesus demonstrates His work of change from the ordinary into the extraordinary by changing water into wine, and not just any wine.  The text tells us it was the best.  All of Jesus' signs bear testimony to His power and His union with God the Father.  In this, these signs were singular in their source and purpose.  Much the same as we were created.

We were created to have an intimate relationship with the One True God.  God gave us the blessing of human relationships to share His love and to demonstrate His relationship with us.  Yet we couldn't be satisfied with obedience to Him, and so we who were created in His image, and intended to reflect and point to Him became marred, flawed, broken and corrupt.  Now we reflect our own natures, our own desires and our own will.  Still, God calls us to return to Him.  He has paid the price we owed for our rebellion, and freely given to us the right to be called sons of the Most High.  We are clothed with His glorious righteousness when before we were clothed with filthy rags.  God has reconciled us and given to us the ministry of reconciliation.  What then should we do?

Turn from our sin (repent).  Seek God.  Read His Word.  Offer ourselves daily to reflect His glory.  Even though we will not reflect perfectly here on this Earth, we are called to obedience to show Him to a world that is rapidly hardening against Him.  Remember, we have to let go of the results or else we are working for ourselves, not His Kingdom.  We reflect Him as only we can, God will work in those who will come to Him.

I still continue to have good days.  And I still have moments that are filled with the lowness of the dark valley.  I do not despair that God is then distant, but I chaff against the circumstances that are meant for my growth.  In these things, though, I know (as Job did) that my redeemer lives, and I can praise Him, even in the storm.

What kind of sign are you?  What do you point to?